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Published on February 7th, 2011 | by Kole Ross, Editor

ICO Novelization Is a Thing, Exists

Put down your copy of the novelization of Are We There Yet, and make way for the best video game book since the Mass Effect 2 strategy guide.

If Amazon is to be believed, the ICO novel is a thing that exists, not only in the Japanese language, but also in our own language of English. At least, it will by August 11th, which is when publisher Simon and Schuster will be releasing its translation of the cult-classic masterpiece adventure game.

Its full title is ICO: Castle of the Mist, and it was originally written by Miyuke Miyabe. The novel will be 400 pages long, which defies belief.

Here’s an excerpt:

“ICO charged like a bull, the beast whose horns he had been cursed with. His orange tunic fluttered behind him, pointing away from the inscrutable glowy chick he was forced to babysit every goddamned moment of the day. The Shadow Men balked at the plank he wielded as though it were the mightiest steel. These intangible monsters dragged the shrieking princess into the depths of their portal, enveloping her completely as her cries were muffled by the rapidly solidifying stone.

As ICO collapsed and contemplated his slow, inevitable death by starvation in this labyrinthine castle, the Player loaded his most recent save.”

As a bonus, here are some excerpts from other game novelizations:

Call of Duty: “Morris shouldered his MP5. He gritted his teeth as he concentrated on the shot– this one was for the money. As he went to squeeze the trigger, he was fatally distracted by the chatter in his earpiece. His squad-mates were clogging the channel with racial epithets and homophobic diatribes. His target heard him make his plea for sanity… then gunned him down in cold blood. Freedom lost on that day.”

World of Warcraft: “The huts and tents of the Barrens bustled with tradesmen and adventurers. They spoke furtively of the great deeds and feats of a legendary figure, a heroic paradigm known only as Chuck Norris. These fools labored in their babbling, unaware that such shit has been played out since at least 2006.”

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots: “Your guess is as good as mine, man.”

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About the Author

Kole is a broadcaster, and a podcaster, at heart. Check out his video game podcast at http://www.donttreeriddle.com, and my comedy podcast at http://www.thosedamnrosskids.com.



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